Written by Millionaire’s Digest Team Member: Kayla Arroy
Founder & Owner of: Essencentral
Millionaire’s Digest Team, Contributor and Successful Living Writer
Sometimes it can be challenging to love ourselves, but that doesn’t mean it’s impossible.
Here are 10 steps to shifting into a more self-loving space.
1. Write down everything you love about yourself. Parts of your appearance, style, traits, behaviors, interests – anything and everything. Feel the love as you write them down. When you’re done, re-read the list to yourself as though you’re reading it to a loved one. Tell yourself, “I love __ about me. I love that I do ___. I love that I am ____.” Pay attention to the shifts in your energy and emotional state as you do this. This is why working with affirmations can be incredibly powerful.
2. Mirror work. One of my favorite ways to show myself some love when I’m feeling less than is by talking to myself in the mirror. As silly as it may feel at first, go to a mirror and tell yourself, “I love you” until you feel it resonate throughout your being and believe it wholeheartedly. It may take 20, 50 times. It might even be a bit of an emotional experience. Allow it. It’s a release of years of false things we’ve been telling ourselves or we’ve been told by other people. We are lovable. We are perfect. We are good.
3. Recognize that you are not your mistakes. Your mistakes are what makes you human. They’re how we learn and grow. Treat them as though they have something to teach you, and don’t allow them to define who you are. Our inner critic likes to keep us small and “safe” by asserting how wrong and “bad” we are. It keeps us from dreaming big and going after those dreams. Forgive yourself and move on. There’s a whole world waiting for you to try again and succeed.
Let go of toxicity. If there’s anything in your life right now that is not serving you and allowing you space to grow and thrive, let it go. This also includes the past. This allows you space to get in touch with yourself on a deeper and loving level. It might be difficult, but know that once you do, an entire world of possibilities opens up for you. More loving relationships, more fulfilling work, and a much better environment for you to live your highest purpose. It’s hard to love ourselves when we’re surrounded by people who make us feel like we’re unlovable or when we’re constantly reminding ourselves of the mistakes we’ve made before.
4. Get in touch. In order to make sure our cup is full and we’re taken care of, we have to be in touch with what’s going on inside. Maybe it’s meditating. Maybe it’s going for a walk outside. Maybe it’s art or music. Maybe it’s writing. However it is that you can connect, is perfect. Connecting with ourselves is an important aspect of loving ourselves because, without it, we have no idea what we’re feeling, what we need, nor how to satisfy those things. It keeps us from neglecting ourselves and giving us the much-needed opportunity to simply just be, without the external mumbo jumbo. It also allows us the chance to see what kind of self-talk we have. If it’s anything less than loving and supportive, change it. Why talk to yourself in a way that you would never to someone you love?
5. Celebrate the accomplishments. If you made a healthy meal, celebrate it. If you brushed your teeth twice today, honor that. If you completed an important task, throw yourself a party. Celebrate each and everything you accomplish, however small or big. This can have a huge effect on your overall self-worth and confidence, which will lead you to want to try newer, more exciting and complex tasks in the future. It sets you up for more success and more self-love.
6. Start saying no. This goes back to having an empty cup. Saying “yes” when you simply don’t have it in you nor want to, sets you up for resentment and total burnout. It’s okay to say no. You come first. Of course, we can’t say “no” to bills and important things like work (though, wouldn’t that be nice!) but we can choose what to do and what not to do with the other things. If you’re tired and your friends invite you out, tell them, “maybe next time.” Wait until you’re in a better state so that you can actually enjoy yourself. If you’ve worked all day and there are dishes in the sink, “I’ll do it later.” Take care of you. Say no.
7. Nourish yourself. Drink lots of water. Eat fresh and colorful food. Exercise. Your body is a temple and it needs to be treated as such, otherwise, things like fatigue, illness, pains, and even mood disorders can manifest themselves. Keeping our bodies healthy gives us space to take care of our mind and spirit. More room for doing what we love and loving what we do.
8. Embrace what makes you different. As I explained earlier, differently is not bad or wrong. It makes us who we are. Celebrate the fact that there is no one else like you on this planet. Honor the things that set you apart from everyone you know. Those tend to be the things they love about you the most. Isn’t it time you feel the same?
9. Be realistic. You’re going to have days in which you don’t feel particularly loving or happy. You’re also not going to feel this way each and every moment of the day. You’re human and part of being human is both making mistakes and experiencing a spectrum of emotions. The important thing is to allow them to happen and then move forward. Remember that there can’t be a rainbow without some rain. Honor the rain.
1o. Life is about transformation and change. Nothing is permanent and nothing is static. But, it’s imperative that we realize that we are beautiful and special just as we are, with all of our light and our darkness. We must learn to speak lovingly to and connect with ourselves, let go of the past, our mistakes, and toxic things, say no more often, celebrate our accomplishments, embrace what makes us “us,” take care of our bodies and be realistic about what comes with being human.
A life fulfilled is a life of love.
Love yourself and life will love you back.
Article Credits: Kayla Arroy
Millionaire’s Digest Team, Contributor